Personal Childhood Web - Some of the People Who Helped Shape Me

     Often times when we reflects on our lives, certain individuals stand out as someone who helped shape who we are today. For me, there are many people who helped shape me. Five names quickly come to mind as people who cared for me, loved me, and helped me become who I am today. They are: Jon Lane my step father, Carlos Montejo my father, Itze Lane my mother, Lupe Espinoza my maternal grandmother, and Anita Montejo my paternal grandmother.

    Although Jon was my step father, he had been in my life as long as I could remember. My mom married him when I was about 5yrs old, so he had been in my life since I was able to create solid and long lasting memories. He was the most generous man I had ever met.  He taught me to love others even if I didn't agree with them. He taught me to always give generously of my time, energy and finances to those who are in need. He taught me to do my research and learn so that I can get an education and be my own woman. You might have noticed by now that I am using lots of past tense phrases when talking about my step father. That is because he died in 2016 due to cancer. Even in his passing, he taught me so much about the value of life.

    Every other weekend until I turned 18 I spent with my biological father, Carlos. It wasn't until after I turned 18 that I began to see my father as multidimensional, and began to understand his side of my parents divorce. He kept his side of the story private until then so that I did not feel like I had to take sides. I use this illustration to show how selfless my father is. Carlos is wise beyond his years, and I value his wisdom and insight more than anything else. My dad struggled as a single father for many years, but he did his absolute best. All the memories I have with my dad are full of fun adventures that made me feel like the time I spent with my dad was precious, and valuable to him.

    Now, I must be vulnerable when discussing my mother dear reader. My relationship with her is, interesting  to put it kindly. Nonetheless, I am thankful for her tender care for me when I was young. She struggled as a single mother for a few years before marrying my step father. She endured many hardships and traumas yet was able to raise two children. That being said, because my mother experienced Trauma and loss at a young age many of her personal fears affected the way she parented her children. Some of these fears still affect me today, and it is a daily effort to live free of those fears.

    My grandmother Lupe helped raise me while my parents were going through their divorce. Before she passed in 2007 she showed that she loved me through acts of kindness and gifts. Most of her gifts came in the form of delicious food. My grandmother loved to laugh, and I felt as if we had a special bond. 

    My grandmother Anita (or as I call her, Abuelita Anita) is alive and well. I usually introduce her as "The woman I aspire to be." She is a saint among humans and I'm convinced that she's actually an angel. She has founded multiple orphanages in Mexico and until 4 years ago, made personalized gift baskets for each child in all of the orphanages. I remember not being allowed to enter into her living room because it was completely full of gift baskets from floor to ceiling. She loves ardently and treats every person as if they are the most important person in the world. Her servant's heart is what inspires me to think outside of myself and be aware of the needs of others. Growing up my dad would take me to her house and we would spend hours playing together, talking about God, and picking figs off of her fig tree. She helped me discover my love for nature, people, and family. If I become half the woman she is, I will consider my life well-spent.

    This list and description is not conclusive of every person who has shaped my life. Each aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, and sibling I grew up with has played a huge role in my life. I am beyond thankful to have a fun, large, and loud family that cares for each other when things get difficult.